


What I Know

by Flor98



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone (Walking Dead), Alternate Season/Series 05, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Beth Lives, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, Family, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Older Man/Younger Woman, POV Beth Greene, POV Daryl Dixon, Pining, Pre-Alexandria Safe-Zone (Walking Dead), Protective Daryl Dixon, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28729194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flor98/pseuds/Flor98
Summary: Daryl had looked for her for so long. Running all night, finding his family against all odds, tracking these creep cops to this damned hospital. He wasn't about to let it end here.~I am trying to make Coda make sense, so... humour me?This story will follow the show quite closely, with some Bethyl themed detours of course 😉Insert disclaimer here about how I do not own anything or anyone that lives in the world of The Walking Dead. That's all thanks to the comic authors Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore, Charlie Adlard, and all the writers, producers, and showrunners at AMC.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon & Beth Greene, Daryl Dixon/Beth Greene, Maggie Greene/Glenn Rhee, Rick Grimes/Michonne
Comments: 42
Kudos: 89





	1. Just Another Dead Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Since I have read pretty much every Bethyl fic on this site, I decided to start my own. While I like to write, I have never posted a story before so please let me know if you like it... and if you think I should continue. 
> 
> This chapter is quite short and takes place mostly in Daryl's head, but I have a lot to say about these characters if you'll have it.

“I get it now.” 

He couldn’t quite see what happened next. The girl’s arm swung up, holding something in her hand, and the next thing he knew – chaos. The shot rung and in that moment his world stopped. At first all he could see were her blonde curls seeped in a puddle of red on the hospital floor. All that red, too much, it was all he could see. In an instant, an instant too late, he was moving forward, aiming to kill and he didn’t miss. Someone came up on his right, trying to hold him back but he knocked them out of the way with an elbow and kept moving. In his rage he aimed for no one in particular, anyone with a badge would do. He didn’t know how many more bullets left his gun before Rick was able to restrain him.

“You got her Daryl, there’s no reason to keep fighting.” He was right, he knew it. Looking down he saw the pair of scissors still lodged in the damn cop’s shoulder. He couldn’t fathom the damned girl’s motives, the naïve bravery that had her pulling out those measly little scissors. Scissors of all things against the nutcase Dawn’s police vest. Despite his shock and anger, he couldn’t fault the girl. As stupid as it was, it was also kind of fitting. She had always been so brave and it was that light, that fight, that never went out. She always said that everyone had a job to do. Whether it be working on that farm that seemed like a dream now, taking care a Lil Asskicker, or hunting down some peach schnapps; she’d done her job with no complaints. 

For a long time, his job had been to keep her safe to make up for all she’d done for him. All of that fighting and searching just to fail in the end. He knew what everyone else must have thought when he had finally found them. That he was the one that had been dragging her around. Keeping her alive, keeping her safe, until that night, the one that Daryl couldn’t think of, but it was the other way around. It was her that had taught him how to do things that meant something. Now he could barely look at her, laying there pale as can be. Even with the tears streaming down his face, his mind wouldn’t accept that she was ‘just another dead girl’.

“You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone Daryl Dixon.” _How could she a known somethin like that? How could she a known that she’d leave him with this achin hole in his damned chest ‘fore he even knew ‘imself that he’d changed? She might a been right ‘bout lots a things, but she never coulda been just another girl. He knew that now._

“What’d you say Carol?” It was Rick’s question that brought him out of his misery. Looking down, not at the girl with the hole in her stomach and the blood pooling around her, no not at that, never at that, but at the grey-haired woman kneeling beside her. 

“She’s alive.”


	2. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth contemplates her situation and the group plans their next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Reading!

The first thing she becomes aware of as consciousness returns, is the smell of antiseptic and the sting of bright sunlight trying to make its way through her lashes. As her groggy mind tries to make sense of her surroundings, an intense ache seems to radiate throughout her small frame. It is the familiar feeling of the hospital bed beneath her that sets her off. Unable to control the instant wave of panic that washes over her, Beth's eyes flash open only to shut immediately at the blinding sunlight. 

_Not again. This won’t happen again. It can’t happen again._

The girl’s inner monologue is the only thing that she knows to be true. Pushing through the pain with a barely audible whimper, she tries her best to sit up. Beth tells herself that she will get through whatever they force upon her so long as she is no longer in their grasp.

_If I can’t get away, well it’ll be better than not tryin at all._

She has almost gotten to a sitting position when she feels hands on her shoulders urging her to lay back down onto the bed. It doesn't matter to her that the hands are gentle, she resists with every bit of fight that she has left. A sharp pain in her abdomen almost makes her rethink her whole “get out or die tryin” plan.

There is a voice, a door opening and shutting, footsteps approaching. She cracks her eyes open to get a better idea of who she is dealing with and is just able to make out a broad form against the light. Before Beth can place the one person that she should have been able to recognize anywhere, the world goes black.

Her next attempt at waking goes better than the first. This time it is what must be the worst case of cottonmouth known to man that rouses her. When she sees Carol wrapped up in a fuzzy looking grey cardigan and dozing in a chair to her left, she can't help but feel more at ease. If she was here, looking better than she had in days, then things couldn’t be all that bad, right? They would come up with another plan and make it out of this place together.

The plastic water bottle that is sat on the bedside table distracts Beth from her plans of escape. It is almost in reach of her fingers when a pulling sensation takes her breath away, her gasp waking the woman next to her.

“I got it for ya, Sweetie” Carol leans forward, unscrewing the lid and tipping the bottle up to Beth’s lips. She would have protested at the treatment if she hadn’t been so desperate for a drink. “How’re you feeling?” the woman asks.

“Thirsty.” Beth replies between gulps.

Seeing that she is out of breath, Carol readjusts her pillows and helps her get more comfortable, tucking the threadbare hospital blanket in around the younger woman’s lap. “I’m sure you are.” She says, while setting the almost empty bottle back on the table and leaning back into her chair. “You’ve been out for some time, had us all worried sick. Take it slow now that you’re awake, you tear those stitches again while I’m on watch and a certain greasy-haired redneck will chew me up and spit me right out.”

The mention of Daryl fills her with excitement and trepidation. Pursing her lips, she asks, “where is he?”

Carol smirks as she glances at the door beyond Beth’s shoulder. “That man wouldn’t leave your side for nothin. It took far too long for me to convince him to wash all that dried blood off of him. If I know him as well as I think I do, he won’t be gone for long.”

“Was it that bad?”

“You don’t remember?” Carol asks, concern sparking in her blue-grey eyes.

“I can remember bits. There was an exchange… scissors?... Noah was there too, is he alright?”

“He’s just fine thanks to you.” Before Carol can say much more, she is interrupted by someone opening the door behind Beth.

A voice, _that_ voice, from over her shoulder. “I wouldn’t go congratulatin ‘er on that stunt she pulled just yet.”

Beth steels herself before looking in his direction and still the sight of him hits her square in the chest. Realizing that she has stopped breathing, she takes a small breath that does nothing to ease her racing heart and speaks to him for what feels like the first time.

“Daryl.”

Her voice was almost as low and unintelligible as his usually is. Her face, the one that had always been so bright and open, now scarred and aimed at his scuffed-up shoes.

“Beth.”

Despite all her efforts, it is that one word that breaks through her façade. Tilting her face up, she finally looks at him dead on, tears pooling in her eyes. She should have known better; Beth had learned quickly that there was no playing games with this man. There had never been any feigning disinterest, no hiding behind pretty words or masks, no duplicity. It had always just been honesty or silence with him, plain and simple.

This man who hadn’t said just any word, no, but her name. He had said her _name_. Not her last name, which he had taken to calling her by, but her _first_ name. The one that he had saved only for those fleeting moments between the two of them. When it had been just Daryl, Beth, and the trees. The truest and scariest moments she had ever known. Those days and nights with Daryl fighting not just for their lives, but for a reason to survive were the most honest that she had ever been with anyone including herself.

It isn't just his response to her that opened the door to the storm of emotions inside of her, but the sight of him alive and whole and standing in front of her of all things in this god forsaken hospital of all places that breaks her. It is those eyes, the ones she had thought she would never see again, squinting through that relentless hair of his, yet still seeing right through her.

With that word all the sleepless nights that she had spent in this hospital counting down the names of her family, hoping that somehow remembering them would help her to remember herself, came rushing back. With that look all the memories of them together alone, and then somehow miraculously not alone, in the woods comes to her. At one time, they had been the last living people in the world.

With that one word and that one look, Beth burst into tears.

* * *

Daryl was beginning to grate on her nerves. With the way he had been acting, she almost regretted her outburst after seeing him. Could hardly believe it had happened in the first place. It had been weeks since she had lost her cool at the sight of him and since then they had barely had any interaction. Only a few words here and there. Some questions from her about how the group had found each other and gotten to her and Carol, and more grunts than words from him in response. This she was used to.

Even after they had gotten closer and formed a... whatever it was that they had formed… he had never been much of a talker. She had always been the one who did the talking. Those first days in the Georgia woods together were filled with her endless blabbing about her idyllic childhood on the farm, plans she had made for after the high school graduation that had never happened, and everything in between.

Anything to distract herself from the sight of her Daddy’s reanimated corpse laying there at The Governor’s feet. Anything to distract her from the prospect that just about everyone she had come to know and love in this new world was more than likely dead, and that she was stranded with an almost stranger. In hindsight, it really was a miracle that Daryl hadn’t found a way to shoot his ears off. It was even more unexpected when they became more than just survival buddies.

Now it almost seemed like they had gone right back to square one. It wasn’t his silence that bothered her per say, but the fact that it shed light on what was missing and maybe even certain feelings that she didn’t want to acknowledge herself. Since she had been swept up in that car with the cross in the window, she had learned that she could only truly rely on herself.

Sure, Daryl had taught her how to how to survive in the wild, how to set traps and shoot a cross bow, but he had always been there. When she failed to catch dinner, he would have a skinned rabbit ready for roasting. When she had hurt her ankle in that trap after shooting her first walker, he had been there to wrap it. Now he was just… gone. 

What was worse than his stubborn silence was his constant presence. He was always around, would barely let her out of his sight, but he was careful not to look her in the face. The eyes that had cut straight through her only weeks before, wouldn’t risk looking at her again. God forbid he caught sight of something he didn’t want to see. She had always been able to read him, and the fact that he wouldn’t even look at her scared her more than any walker ever could.

The only time that she had tried to ask him about their time apart and the events that led up to her getting shot in that hallway he had grit his teeth, looked down, and walked right out of the room. Despite the fact that the man barely spoke more than a handful of words on a good day, he had always been able to get his point across and his reaction to her questioning had definitely gotten the job done. There would be no more talk about what had come before, at least for now.

When she wasn’t thinking about where Daryl’s head was at, Dr. Edwards had given her a strict physiotherapy routine to occupy her time. Well, she had to admit that “physiotherapy” seemed to be a bit of an overstatement. In addition to daily deep breathing exercises, she had been ordered to walk as early and as often as she was able. While it wasn’t for lack of trying, she could really only hobble from one end of the hall to the next before she needed a rest. Aside from her “exercise” routine and daily trips to the cafeteria for lunch, she really didn’t get out much.

Beth knew that she was beginning to get a bit stir crazy. She hated to admit it, but the cops and doctors that had made this place a living hell, had also saved her life. While she appreciated the surgery that they had given her after she had gone into shock from blood loss, she could not wait to get out of this place.

Rather than go out into the hall today, she decided to walk laps around her room. It was better than driving herself crazy in bed after all. A knock on the door stops her from making a move to get out of bed. How did the saying go? 'Speak of the devil and he doth appear'.

He is leaning into her doorway and speaking in that gravelly voice of his. “Hey uhh… group’s havin a meetin. Sent me n the kid ta come get ya.” Just like that, more out of him than she had gotten in days. She silently thanked whoever it was that had sent him to come and get her. She intended to use the time that she had to her advantage.

“Could ya give me hand up? I’m pretty sore today.” She hadn’t cared to act the part of damsel in distress since she had first arrived at Grady, but if that’s what it took to get him to move more than two feet in her direction then that’s what she would do.

His face scrunches up at her request, brows furrowing, lips pressing together. Barley inside the doorway, he takes a half step toward her and something in her chest soars at the sight of it. His mind must catch up with his body though, because he stops before he can begin. After a pause he jerks his head into the hall pulling Carl into the room.

“Go on kid, girl asked for help gettin outta bed.”

_So that’s how it’s gonna be? Well, two can play at that game Mr. Dixon._

“Actually Carl, I haven’t gotten my dose of antibiotics for the evenin would ya mind stoppin by Dr. Edward’s office before the meetin? I’m sure it's just slipped his mind.” She smiles innocently when she is done.

He tries to hide it, but Beth catches the slight widening of Daryl’s eyes behind his hair, the miniscule twitch in his cheek. She doesn't try to hide the narrowing of her eyes and the slow sly smirk that graces her face in response to his reaction.

A quick glance at Carl tells her that he has caught on to what is happening. The poor kid looks like a deer caught in headlights, standing frozen in between the two of them. He glances up at Daryl, who is strategically blocking his exit, and then back at Beth. One glare from her though and, quick as a whip, he turns tail and slips past the hunter standing in his path. A good choice on his part, she had always known the kid was bright.

After Carl's hasty exit, there is a moment of stillness between them. Beth wont take her eyes off him while Daryl opts to count the frayed threads hanging from the bottom of his pant legs. That frown is back too, as if he thinks he can disappear if he just stays still enough.

Realizing that they have come to a stalemate, she decides to take her plan up a notch. She places her hands down on either side of her lap, beginning to sit up, and is just about to swing her legs over the side of her bed when he rushes forward. Suddenly, he is right beside her.

 _So_ he _can make it into my room. Well, isn’t that just somethin._

“Alright alright, Girl, no need ta hurt yerself just ta prove a point.” She raises her eyebrows at him, and it is then that he realizes that he’s been played. “You uhh… you been gettin outta bed just fine haven’t ya?”

The small smirk on her lips is the only confirmation that he needs. Of course she could get up on her own, how many times would he have to fall for her tricks before he finally learned that, where Beth was concerned, he would always be just a step behind.

The pair makes their way out of her room and through the dimly lit halls in companionable silence. There is no need for small talk between them and there never had been, one thing that their time apart had not changed at least. But she knew him well enough to know not to push him any further. She had gotten a conversation and now a walk to the cafeteria with her arm looped through his. Any more prodding from her may well just push him further away from her. This would have to tide her over for now.

Once they get to the cafeteria, she sees that their group fills one corner of the room. Some familiar faces and some new, all sitting around a table together. When Maggie sees them approach from her seat at the table she raises her brows. So it wasn’t her sister that had sent Daryl to get her, Beth thinks to herself. To her utter disappointment and Daryl’s obvious relief, Maggie makes her way to them and unhooks her younger sister’s arm from his.

“Thank ya Daryl, I woulda come n got ‘er, but Michonne told me you’d already gone ta fetch ‘er.”

“I’m right here ya know.” Beth complains, earning but a glance from her sister.

Having apparently reached his word quota of the day, Daryl simply nods his head and leaves the two sisters to squabble amongst themselves.

“C’mon Bethy, I saved a seat fer ya by me n Glenn.” As her sister leads her over to the table, Beth keeps her eyes on Daryl’s winged back, noticing that he chooses to perch in a shadowed corner of the room; one leg bent at the knee so that his foot can rest on the wall behind him. Ever the survivalist, he has chosen a vantage point that would keep him within earshot of the group while also ensuring he had a clear view of all exits.

As she takes her seat, she notices that every member of her family is there. She would have expected a few to stay out and keep watch in the parking lot. After they had cleared the area and secured the fences, they had gotten set up quite nicely in the tents that had been left abandoned during the beginning of the end of the world. Or so she had been told.

Even Carl has taken a seat near his father apparently having seen right through her little ploy to get him out of the room. Everyday since she had gotten her strength back, the boy had visited her to tell her about how everyone had been getting on. Like her, he had caught on to the tense atmosphere among the staff at the hospital in the weeks after she had been shot.

Soon, their casual meetings took on a new purpose. As they huddled together over countless card games, he would recount any information he managed to gather from snooping around offices and break rooms. She knew that he wouldn’t get caught sticking his nose where he shouldn’t. To them, Carl was just a floppy haired, cowboy hat wearing kid and just like her, he had managed to slip right past their radars. This is how she knew that they were all running on borrowed time, doctors and cops bickering about how best to deal with their group.

While Beth knew that this was more than likely for the best, the two groups would never truly trust each other afterall, she couldn’t help but feel wistful seeing everyone sitting together in one place. When she had been brought here, she never would have imagined that this would be the place that they would reunite. Not since that last day at the prison had she seen such a sight. Her chest tightened at the thought of their last home and she wondered if there were any safe places left in the world. If they would ever find somewhere to call home again. She had always tried not to lose faith, just like her Daddy, but it had been so long since any of them had known peace… she wasn’t as sure as she had once been.

Apparently, she wasn’t the only one who had the same concerns. Coming out of her head and back to the debate going on in front of her, it seemed that the group had come to an impasse.

“It might not be ideal, but what other options do we have? Wander the state until we can find another safe place? If there are even any left... I’m sorry but I just don’t see that happening any time soon.” Father Gabriel seemed to be seriously considering making peace and staying at the hospital.

Deciding to voice her agreement, Sasha speaks up from her seat next to Bob “we’ve been doing fine here for months. I’m sure there are places left in the city where we can scavenge for supplies.” Beth got the feeling that woman was wary of heading back on the road after her separation from her brother and she couldn’t blame her for it.

“Yea, I’m sure with all the dead ones walkin ‘round lookin fer supplies n fuel to keep us goin will be a damn picnic. Face it, it’s only a matter a time ‘fore this place falls. If ya ask me, I got no interest in bein within spittin distance a this place when shit goes down.” It doesn't surprise Beth that Abraham feels so strongly, she had heard from Carl that he had been trying to convince Rick to head North for some time.

It is then that their leader’s voice cuts through the rest. “This aint a dictatorship. I was wrong to ‘ave said so the last time we found ourselves lookin for a place to settle. If finally finding all of ya has taught me anythin, it’s that we’re stronger _together_. At the end of the day, we'll make the best decision for this group together. I don’t like this place as much as the next person, but Sasha n Bob have got a point. We don’t need to trust ‘em, not yet, but Officer Shepherd seems sincere, and they did save Beth… That’s gotta be worth somethin.”

Beth knew that Rick’s words had weight, everyone respected him and she was no different. Which is why her voice is barely above a whisper when she finally gathers the nerve to speak up. “They’re not sincere.”

“What was that Bethy?” her sister asks from beside her.

Biting her lip, Beth looks up at Rick. “I said, they’re _not_ sincere. No on here means what they say.”

Looking around her she realizes that all eyes are trained on her. She quickly shifts her eyes to Daryl's corner of the room, their eyes meet for but a moment, yet still the dip of his head gives her the motivation that she needs to continue. Instead of making herself small, she sits up a little taller and purses her lips in thought. If this was her chance to convince all of them, she was not about to waste it.

Taking a deep breath, she chooses to look directly at Rick when speaking next. “We can’t trust these people, no matter how they look or what they say ta your face they always mean somethin else. I'm grateful they saved my life, but nothin here is given freely. There’s always a price. We’ll never be able to trust these people. Not before and definitely not after what happened in that hallway. This place will never be home.”

She can’t exactly read the look in Rick’s eyes… surprise and something else, but he stares at her for quite some time before finally looking away. Pushing his chair away from the table with a scrape, he rests his hands on his knees and rubs them against the worn-out denim of his jeans, bowing his head in thought. When he looks up, his next words fill the room with certainty.

“Well that settles it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to give a huge thank you to everyone that read the last chapter, the response that I got really warmed my heart. You are all so kind!
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this one, it’s definitely longer than the last. I really wasn’t planning on Daryl being a part of this chapter, but it seems that Beth’s schemes got the best of everyone 😊
> 
> I am always open to constructive criticism so let me know what you think. For anyone who decides to keep reading, I am planning on updating on a weekly basis but I just started my last semester of university and work on the side, so we'll see how that goes 😅
> 
> Until next time, stay safe out there.  
> -S ❤


	3. On the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our group runs into some car trouble after leaving Georgia and our couple have their first real conversation since Grady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Reading!

Only the strong survive  
Only the strong survive  
Only the wrong relive their lives  
We've been here a thousand times

Wish I could go back and find  
Letters I wrote you in my mind  
Perhaps I could unknot us from this awful bind  
Most I have forgot or over-refined

Love is a sickness cured by time  
Love is a sickness cured by time  
Bruises all end up benign  
Love is a sickness cured by time

I hope that you can change my mind  
Had to leave this crying all behind  
I hope that you don't think that I'm unkind  
So somebody told me, only and only  
Only the strong will survive

\- Laura Marling, “Only The Strong”

~

Although they hadn’t decided exactly where it was they were going, for now Rick and Abraham had compromised on a direction at least: North. While it meant adding time to their journey, they had that taking the quieter rural areas would be well worth it. After some deliberating, which had taken far too long in Daryl’s opinion, the two men had chosen to avoid the busy I-85 and Georgia 400. Instead, they had been driving along the lesser used route 23, past Gainesville and through Chattahoochee National Forest. They were a tough group, and had proved that they could more than handle themselves whenever necessary, but after the luck they’d had, no one wanted to risk running into anyone, dead or alive.

They had gotten as far as the border of North Carolina when the firetruck failed on them. Looking in his review, Daryl had noticed the thing puttering along for a couple miles now. As far as he was concerned, they had been lucky to siphon what little gas they could from the cars they had found back in Atlanta before heading out of Georgia for good. He knew it would only be a matter of time before they ran out of juice, and it was looking like their time was up. Once he pulls onto the shoulder of the road, Rick gets out of the passenger seat and takes their weathered map out of his back pocket.

He leans over the hood with the map in one hand and his Colt in the other. "Looks like we’re gonna have to walk from here. There’s a town not too far away.”

Daryl watches as Rick traces the tip of his finger along the line that marks the road they are on to a town called Rosman about 15 miles east. He hears the heavy footfall of Abraham’s boots stop on the other side of the hood. Counting the miles left to Washington no doubt.

Daryl squints up at the sky. "Already past noon, don’t think we’ll make it that far ‘fore sundown. Could try campin up at-”

Before he can suggest the lake along the way, Abraham interrupts him. “The town’s not far, if we get goin’ now we’ll make it in good time. No need to waste daylight talkin’ bout it.”

Putting a hand on his hip, Rick turns to address the man. “Not sure that’s such a bright idea. We got two kids and a former patient to think about.”

Knowing that it will take more patience than he has to convince Abraham of anything, Daryl decides to leave Rick to it. Walking away from the arguing pair, he scans the area. Once they had past the sign announcing that they had entered Chattahoochee National Forest, walkers had been few and far between. Aside from the ones that they had easily past on the road, they had not seen much of anything, but that didn’t mean that he was about to let them be caught high and dry in the middle of nowhere.

Strapping his crossbow across his back, he walks along the length of leaf covered grass that borders the dense forest on either side of their line of cars. If he was honest with himself, he had another reason for walking this path. Her blonde head is just visible on the other side of the beat-up minivan that is parked behind the firetruck.

While he is glad that he hadn’t been travelling in the same car as her, he had also found himself glancing in his side view mirrors more often than he would have liked. His eyes drawn to them as if they had a mind of their own. At every bend and fork in the road, he was always checking to see if the van that carried her was still behind them. He wasn’t sure how she knew that he was nearby, his footsteps were quiet whether he was hunting or not, but before he could turn back, she was rounding the back of the van and walking towards him. A smile on her face and Lil Asskicker cradled in her arms.

He clears his throat and says, "think we're walkin from here. You good ta walk a few miles?"

“Course I am. Pretty sure we walked farther than a few miles before, remember?” That smile is back, and he tries not to look directly in her eyes for too long. Girl had always been too smart for her own good and he doesn’t want her to look at him too closely. He knows it wouldn’t take her long to see the guilt roiling underneath the surface.

“Right, well… tell the others ta pack light.” He didn’t look back to see if she watched him walk away.

In the end, it was Abraham himself who admitted that Daryl had been right to suggest camping at the lake for the night. They had gotten to the lake just after sundown and while exhausted, were no worse for wear. Their luck had stuck with them for most of the hike to the lake, with no trouble along the way. Looking at their group all sat around their small camp, he could tell that they had needed the break. Stepping out of the brush that surrounded them on three sides, he chose to sit against a lonely looking tree near the shore of the lake. As he began to skin the first of the squirrels that he had been able to snare on their way around the lake, he tried not to watch as Beth built their fire; her slight frame hunching over the pit she was digging with her bare hands.

Since getting her back, he had found that his mind wandering to places he would rather not be. When he looked at her, he would suddenly find himself in another place. Leaning against a different tree in a different forest, his knife separating fur from flesh while she began to gently coax flames out of nothing. A task he had never seen her fail at. They had made a routine and he had gotten used to it, and then she was just gone, and he was alone again.

It is Abraham’s voice that breaks through his thoughts. Even with the dead walking around Lord knew where, Daryl doubted that the man had ever known the meaning of quiet. “You’re right that things haven’t gone according to plan, hate to admit it but Crossbow over there was right. If it wasn’t for this little pitstop, we’d a been in worse shape than we are now. But I still see no reason why that means we shouldn’t keep movin forward.”

By the way Rick is pinching the bridge of his nose, Daryl can tell he’s just about reached his limit with the ginger G.I. Joe. “I understand that you wanna get Eugene safely to Washington, but I’m not about to let my family travel across two states in winter. The further north we go, the more we risk the chance of somethin goin wrong.”

“Once we find some cars, we could be there in a few days! It’s makin stops like this that’ll slow us down. Who’s ta say we even find a place to stay? We'll only be drawin out the inevitable if we stop to wait out the win’er.”

Glenn holds his hand up, darting his eyes between the two men. “Uhhh… I hate to cut in but, who’s to say that Washington will be any different than what we’ve found so far? _If_ we get there, how do we know Eugene’s people will even still be there?” The guy didn’t speak much, but when he did, his was always the voice of reason. Daryl had always liked him for it.

The flash of doubt on Abraham’s face was visible for just a second and Daryl was sure that he had been the only one to see it before it disappeared. “So what, we don’t try? Sure, let’s all just find a place to settle down. We can play house, maybe find a prison to hole up in, or another farm? Tell me, how’d that go for y’all again?”

The words have barely left his mouth before Maggie is up, storming around the fire, and staring up into Abraham’s face. “Say that again, I dare ya.” He is disappointed when Glenn catches up with her, grabbing her arm and talking her down with whispers in her ear. Judging by the steel in her voice and look in her eyes, Daryl would have put money on her.

Once the pair get back to their spot around the fire, Rick speaks up again. “That’s more than enough, Abraham. We need to make a decision that is best for the group and we agreed back in Atlanta that we would be safer together. If that’s no longer how ya feel, you’re free to leave. I won’t be happy to see ya go, but we only just found each other and I will not watch my family trek hundreds of miles with no real plan.”

Daryl had barely noticed Eugene with the way he was cowering near Rosita’s side and he is not the only one that is surprised to hear him pipe up. “They’re right.” He braves the glare he gets from Abraham and goes on. “From where I’m sittin, there is no need to put our cohort through any more strain. As it stands, we got no wheels, no fuel, and little to no food. Taking that and a baby into consideration, the trip to our desired destination will lead to what I foresee to be unsatisfactory outcomes. On the other hand, goin it alone with only you n Rosita for the next 497 miles, give or take a few, is a notion that I do not wish to ponder.”

For once, there is deafening silence from the rest from the camp until Rosita offers a translation. “That’s Eugene talk for, we should wait and stay together.”

“Ya know dude, sometimes _less_ is more.” Tara pats Eugene on the shoulder and volunteers for first watch.

As everyone starts to bed down for the night, Daryl notices a head missing. As he goes off in search of her, he misses the pair of eyes that watch him as he leaves. Finding the person he is looking for along the shore of the lake, Daryl takes a moment to pause in the cover of the trees. She is sitting on a rock with her knees pulled up to her chin and her arms wrapped around her legs, unable to see him from her perch. Before he knows it, the moonlight that glints off the surface of the lake, casting shadows along her profile turns to candlelight. He is watching her sing from the doorway, and he is thinking that she is the last person that he might ever see.

_We’ll drink up our grief and pine for summer._

_Then we’ll buy a beer to shotgun, we’ll lay in our lawn,_

_and we’ll be good.*_

He blinks and the memory fades.

Not wanting to scare her, he decides to break the silence before he approaches. “You thinkin a goin fer a swim, Greene?” She doesn’t look up, but he can see the slight twitch of her lips in the moonlight. As he gets closer to her he can see that her gaze is fixated on a point in the lake. She is thinking so hard that he can tell she is not really seeing the water. The girl's in another place just like him.

He scratches his chin and leans over her shoulder. “If you dropped somethin in that water I aint gonna be the one to fish it out.” That finally gets a laugh from her, he had never been very good at making people laugh, but he was glad that she had humored him.

When she looks up, though all of the laughter is sucked out of the air. He had never been able to hide from those blue eyes of hers and now was no different. He can tell that something is bothering her and have mercy but he would be damned if he didn't try to figure it out.

His lips are moving before his brain can talk any sense into them. "Ya mind if I sit?"

She pats the space next to her and he sighs as he sits, reaching into his vest pocket and lighting a cigarette. She leans closer to get a look at his meagre stash of smokes. “Looks like you’re runnin low on those. Maybe we’ll find some at the town we’re going to?”

Turning his head slightly away from her, he breathes out a puff of smoke through the corner of his mouth and asks, “you wanna talk about my smokin habits or whatever it is that’s got ya sittin out here on yer own?”

She presses her lips together and blinks away, staring at the water again with a furrow between her almost translucent brows. He doesn’t rush her, is more than happy to sit with her and enjoy his smoke in silence. He had learned the hard way that she could never stay quiet for long. His cigarette is almost half gone when he hears her take a small breath. “I just needed some space from everyone, I guess.”

“Maggie’s been keepin a close eye on ya since we left, but she’ll ease up. Was hard on ‘er, not knowin where ya were and then not knowin if you’d make it after the surgery” In truth, he hadn’t been entirely convinced that Maggie was very worried about her sister. That is until he had seen her face after what had happened in that damn hallway. Her sobbing and wailing had been enough to erase any of the doubts he’d had and gave him the permission he had needed to shed his own tears.

“No, it’s not that. Well, it’s not just her I needed to get away from.” The embarrassment hits him then. Thinking that he had read her invitation to sit all wrong, Daryl stubs his cigarette out on the edge of the rock and begins to get up from his seat next to her. _Course you read ‘er wrong, why would she wanna be alone with a nobody, nothin, redneck asshole** like you ever again? Only ever happened in the first place cuz she was stuck with ya after the prison, and then you let her run outta that house like an –_

The fingers that lace through his stop him in his tracks. “Daryl, I didn’t mean you.” She pulls him back down and her words fill him with undeserved relief. “It’s just… different now after what happened. I feel different.” He knows he should pay attention, but he only half hears what she is saying, too busy looking at their hands that lay joined between them. She is still holding his hand. Realizing that she has stopped talking, he looks up and opens his mouth to say only god knows what, but stops when he sees her looking back at him.

Before he can think of something to say, she is pulling her hand away and looking down at her wrist now covered with her other hand. It takes him a second to realize that it is not him that has upset her. “They… they took my things, they took everythin, even the bracelets I used to wear.”

“You worried about that tiny thing? It’s nothin to be ashamed of Beth, ya got through it n yer stronger for it.”

“I don’t feel strong.” The sound of her voice breaking almost does him in. Pulling his knife out of the sheath at his side, Daryl tears into the sleeve of his shirt. After tearing the cuff right off he holds his hand out palm facing upward, silently asking that she give him hers. Once she places her hand in his, he takes hold of her forearm with his other hand and gently covers her scar with the worn piece of black fabric; wrapping and tying it snugly, but not too tightly, around her wrist.

When he is done, he rests her hand on her lap and looks her in the eyes. “Yer strong Beth and ya got away from that place.”

She looks down at her hand, her fingers fiddling with his makeshift bracelet, and then looks up at him and says, “maybe you gotta keep on remindin me sometimes.”**

The corner of his lips pulls up in response, “I can do that.” He bumps her with his arm before getting up. “Now c’mon Greene, gotta be up at sunrise and not sure if ya know, but a man needs his beauty sleep.” The look on her face as she laughs in reply makes Daryl think that he will keep saying shit like that if it means she will keep smiling at him the way that she is doing now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late because of my pesky wifi connection, but I hope you liked this one 😊 I've done a lot of planning this past week, so there's lots more to come.
> 
> I’ve also created a little playlist for this story. Some songs that got me thinking about our couple from artists that are new and old to me. If any of you recognize one that Reedus mentioned in a tweet years ago let me know. Here is the link:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3UDB1SoUB5dWUaSAOPssvC
> 
> I’ll see you all next week!  
> \- S 🖤
> 
> * Lyrics from “Be Good” by Waxahatchee and covered by Emily Kinney  
> ** TWD Season 4 Episode 12 "Still”.


	4. Searching pt1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our group of survivors find a tiny town. Daryl gives Beth a gift of sorts and it comes in handy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So life got a bit crazy… I am sorry about the wait I promise I was thinking about this story the whole time! BUT to make up for the wait, I have decided to do a double upload (hence “pt 1”). 
> 
> I contemplated making this one long chapter but thought breaking it in 2 would make more sense with the POV shift. Part 2 will be posted this weekend so keep your eyes peeled.
> 
> Anwayyys enough rambling, 
> 
> Happy Reading! 😊

I was just gonna tell you  
That I don't want to let you down  
Get lost in the crowd  
Seen or unseen  
Say what you mean

'Cause we all want to be here now  
And we all want to be held down  
And we all want to here now  
And we all want to be held down

\- Laura Marling, "Held Down"

~

They had been walking for hours and the road ahead of them didn’t look like it would end any time soon. Beth had been trying to hide the fact that she was struggling. It had only been a short while after they had left the lake that she had begun to fall behind, trailing near the back of the group of survivors with Maggie and Sasha for company.

Before they had left Atlanta, Dr. Edwards had removed her stitches and sent her on her on her way with a valuable supply of antibiotics to ensure that everything healed properly. But painkillers, it seemed, were a luxury that no one could afford in this world.

Along with the ache in her side, she tried not to think about the man who tailed them. She had discovered about four miles ago that Daryl was a good distraction, almost too good. Her first stolen glance in his direction had led to a second, which had turned to a third, and now she was on her fifty-seventh? Beth wasn’t too sure, but she couldn’t have reached more than sixty… _right_?

Sighing, she looks over at him again and there he is, doing the same thing he had been doing since they had broken camp at the lake early this morning. Of course, she knew she would find the same thing as she had the first time she had searched for him. His need to protect those who were his was as predictable to her as the rising of the sun.

This time, she spots Daryl near the edge of the country road. He is weaving in and out of the treeline, where he can keep watch and shoot down any furry (or scaley? Lord, she hoped not scaley) creatures that were unfortunate enough to cross his path.

Walking with his crossbow in hand, he shields everyone from behind. His position at the back of the group gives him a clear view of every head that is in front of him, as well as any possible threat that may come that direction. By walking paces behind the last person in their procession, he also ensures that nothing will surprise them from behind. 

She had noticed this about him long ago. Back even before the prison, during what she was sure would go down in history as the longest winter she would ever live through. When they had been homeless and hopeless wanderers, squatting in rundown buildings that have all blurred together in her memories.

Thinking back on that time, Daryl had always stuck to the back of the group. Always on the outskirts, but as important as any of them. She knew that they wouldn’t have made it this far without him. She knew Rick knew it, Carol too, but she wonders if he knew just how valuable he really was.

While she watches Daryl, Beth tells herself that this will be the last time she looks back over shoulder at him. Her parents had always said she was a terrible liar. As a child, her thoughts and emotions had always been displayed on her face and that had not changed with time. “As clear as day,” her mom would say. Gazing ahead once again, she almost succeeds until she feels his eyes on her back that is.

When she thinks that the coast is clear, Beth steals another glance over her shoulder and watches as he comes out of from beyond the treeline. The bright sun glinting off the leaves that have managed to hold on to the trees, despite the cold that has settled in. His head turns in her direction and their eyes meet for a moment before she can look away.

She doesn’t notice Noah slowing his pace to match with hers. “Hey… how are you holding up?” The sound of his voice has her snapping her eyes away from Daryl’s and back on the cracked pavement in front of her.

She keeps her eyes focused determinedly on the horizon as she speaks. Beth knows that she won’t be able to say what she needs to if she looks at Noah’s face. The face that saved her after Gorman’s friends came after her. The face that left her there, handcuffed to the ground. “I’ve been keeping up. Something you should know about this group Noah, we don’t leave each other behind.”

She hears him take in a sharp breath before saying, “you’re right. I could have fought my way out with you back in that parking lot, but I didn’t. I panicked and I am sorry.”

“You’re sorry? You don’t get it do you? Out of everyone, I thought that you would’ve, but you don’t. I got us out, I got you out and you left me there. You knew what it was like, you knew what they would do if we got caught and you left me there.” 

_No one's comin.*_ That's what she'd said to Dawn. With her jaw locked and tears pooling, so sure that she would be abandoned for good.

Noah is silent for a minute before he sighs and says, “you’re lucky you have them you know. I didn’t. It was me and my family and then it was just me. I don’t even know if I have any family left. I would do things differently if I could go back, but I can’t. I can just try to be better now, try to make up for what I did and earn a place in this family.”

“You can try. And you’re right ya know, we can’t go back.” Noah takes the hint and rejoins the others in the front. Beth had never been one for confrontation, but not enough time has passed since everything that happened at Grady and if she had learned anything in the past few months it was how to hold her ground when she needed to.

 _You're not a fighter.*_ That's what he'd said to her, thinking he could do what he liked, before she'd shown him what she could do. That she was capable of leaving him on the ground to get his throat chewed out and die in a puddle of his own blood. Not just his blood, she thought, Joan's too. That she could leave a man to his death and then lie about it.

She feels his gaze on her back before she hears him, “ya look almost as grumpy as I do girl, n that aint no easy feat.” She smiles unconvincingly and looks his way. He is walking just a step behind her, with his hands in his vest pockets and his head tipped down slightly, his hair falling forward.

“No one could challenge you for the title of grumpiest survivor. That belongs solely to you, Mr. Dixon.” His pace falters slightly at her use of that nickname, but he falls back in step quickly.

He chews on the corner of his thumb before speaking again. “I got somethin for ya… well actually it’s yers anyway.” He reaches around his waist and unbuckles a second sheath that she had not noticed before. She smiles when she sees the ivory hilt that is tucked inside of it, she thought she would never see the knife again.

He takes the weapon out and flips it around so that the blade faces away from her, “shoulda given it back ta ya sooner.” When she reaches her hand and out to take it from him, he pulls back and clears his throat before saying, “just… let us know before ya go stabbin anyone else alright?”

It is a bad joke and she would laugh it off if it wasn’t for the way his voice changed when he said it. She looks up at him and sees hesitation and pain in his eyes.

They had not spoken about it; she knows they could barely acknowledge it themselves. Could hardly think about what they had almost found, just barely glimpsed among the trees together, what they had lost back there when they had lost each other, how it felt to lay eyes on each other again in that hallway, and how it must have felt for him to watch her almost throw it all away.

So, she is serious when she replies, “I wont do it again.” The purse of his lips makes her think that he is not completely satisfied, but when she reaches out to take her knife for the second time he doesn’t pull away.

When she is done securing it and the sheath around her waist, she holds her arms out at her sides and asks, “whaddya think?” She decides to spare him the embarrassment of answering her question when she sees the pink in his cheeks.

Instead, she smirks and says, “when you said you had something to give me I thought it would be a gift or something.” Beth can’t help that she had always enjoyed teasing him. If she was honest, it still surprised her that he took it so well, not that it hadn’t taken him time to warm up to the treatment.

Gently bumping into his shoulder as they walk, she continues “I should’ve known better though. If anyone caught you, your rep as the world’s grumpiest survivor would be in serious jeopardy.”

He huffs out a short laugh and gives her a small, almost shy, smile and lifts his head to look her in the eyes he responds, “well, don’t go tellin' no one then.”

Their roles now reversed; it is Beth who watches his back while he walks away, breaking off from her and the group to head out into the trees again.

His secret would be safe with her.

* * *

Sticking to the smaller roads had been a good idea, by the looks of the town it seems like it had been deserted for some time. As a kid, she had thought that her town was tiny; with everyone up in each other’s business all the time. But this town, put hers to shame. Rosman had a total of two traffic lights, its sign announcing a population of 576. They had found a town that was even smaller than Senoia, she never would have thought. As they got to what used to be the town centre, a bit of an overstatement since the street was home to a only a couple of diners, a post office, and one lonely grocery store, she joined the others. Beth began to make a mental list of things to look out for while they searched the town.

Rick was telling everyone his plan, “Seems pretty deserted, so we should be able to cover the place pretty easily, but you can’t be too careful. We’ll split in two groups, one to find some cars and the other for supplies. Tyreese and Sasha have volunteered to stay here with Judith, the rest of us will meet back here by the post office in an hour. Don’t take any unnecessary risks and if you get separated remember our plan is to get back to the welcome sign we passed on the way in.” He looks at everyone’s faces before nodding and stepping away.

With that, they break off. Rick, Daryl, Carol, and Abraham’s people searching cars and clearing the area as they go, while Beth and the rest make their way to the grocery store across the street. Glenn pulls his sleeve up and brushes the glass door.

“See anything?” Maggie asks.

He squints and shakes his head. “It’s too bright out, can’t see much past the glare. Looks like something might be blocking the door.”

Tara taps on the glass with her knuckles, trying to attract any of the dead that might be inside. They all look at each other with their ears pressed to the glass while they listen for movement.

After trying again to get look through the windows Maggie looks at Father Gabriel and says, “Alright, on my count you’re gonna open this door. Glenn and I will clear the entrance while Noah and Tara cover us from the outside. Don’t shoot unless ya have to, we don’t got much ammo left and we don’t wanna wake any of em up.”

Beth knows what her answer will be but decides to ask anyway, “want me to help with anythin, Maggie?”

“We got it Bethy, you just make sure nothin comes from the road behind us.” They both know that wouldn’t happen, not after Rick and the others had cleared the area, but Maggie doesn’t wait to see if Beth will call her out on it.

Her sister steps closer to Glenn, pulls out her knife and begins to count down, “3…” Noah steps back near Beth, ready to step in at the first sign of trouble. “2…” Father Gabriel holds on to the handle and braces himself. The poor man looks like he might pass out before he can even pull the thing open, “1”. The door swings open to reveal two vending machines blocking their path forward.

“Well that’s convenient,” Tara says sarcastically, she steps forward and looks through a crack between the door and the machines. “Looks like the coast is clear, we just have to move these out of the way.”

Glenn motions for Tara to help him push one of the vending machines away from the door. Once they have cleared enough space, they make their way inside the store, stepping over a hissing walker that is pinned underneath the vending machine next to them. Besides the one, Beth can’t make out any others.

She can’t help but think that this was a bit too easy and decides to voice her concern, “we should keep an eye out for more. I don’t see how that one could have moved those vending machines on its own.”

The rest look back and nod in her direction before scanning their surroundings. The place is littered with dust and debris; shelves knocked over, old fliers litter the ground, smashed bottles glint in the afternoon sun that streams through the grimy windows. By the look of things, whoever had blocked off the doors was probably long gone by now. Wondering where to start, she scans the rows of aisles for anything that might be useful.

Judging from his words, Glenn has already decided where he is headed, “we’ll cover more if we split the place in half. Maggie, Father Gabriel, and I will head near the pharmacy and search that part of the store. You three take the rest.” Beth watches as they make their way toward the hanging pharmacy sign.

It is a good idea, she thinks back to all of the pharmacy runs that Glenn had to make when they had all been living on their farm. She can’t help but feel a bit disappointed that her mind brought her back there so easily. That it was still so painful to think about her home even after all the time that had passed. She doesn’t want to remember.

The first thing they look for are the non-perishables, she smiles when she finds an aisle that it is still about a quarter of the way stocked. Noah comes from the aisle over and offers her an empty black backpack.

“Found it back there.” He says, pointing his head in the direction from which he came, “it’s a bit worn out, but -”

“Thanks.” She stops him before he can finish, taking the bag from his outstretched hand and turns to start sorting through cans and jars.

“Guess we’ll have to get used to canned fish and beans, huh?” He tries to joke.

Offering him a half smile, the best that she can do, she says, “yea, I guess so. If you’ve got it covered here, I’m gonna go look for some stuff for Judith.”

Beth passes Tara on the way out of the aisle and breaths a small sigh of relief when the woman doesn’t offer to go with her. After walking almost to the other end of the store, Beth finds what she is looking for. Swinging her bag from over her shoulder and unzipping the large pocket, she stuffs what she can inside. Beth checks through the mental list she had been building on their walk from the lake. Diapers, formula, baby food, some warm looking onesies, even a toy or two. Recalling the almost bare shelves she had passed on her way through the store, Beth tries not to think about why there is still so much left in this section. She focuses instead on the job at hand, gathering anything that she thinks little Judith might need.

When she is done, she zips up her bag and heads in the direction of the pharmacy, finding Maggie combing through the shelves. Her sister is scanning labels and tossing bottles aside, but before Beth can ask if she needs help with whatever it is that she is looking for, a scream from the back of the store has both sisters running. They find the source of the sound through a pair of swinging doors near the long-gone frozen food department.

Glenn and Father Gabriel are wrestling with a couple of walkers. Glenn takes care of his quickly and by the look of the dead walker on the floor next to him it is not his first. Father Gabriel, on the other hand, is having a bit more trouble, with his walker that is snapping its teeth a little too close to his face. Maggie steps in to help him, grabbing the thing by the back of the shirt and jerking her knife up through the back of its neck. The look that she gives Father Gabriel is nothing if not condescending as she lets the dead walker drop to the ground near his feet. Her sister wipes her knife on her pant leg before tucking it safely away at her hip.

Father Gabriel wipes his hands on his pants, his voice wavering when he says, “Sorry about that shout.” He motions behind his back to a half open door, “we were breaking through the chain on these doors when they caught us off guard.”

Beth offers him a sympathetic smile, “at least now we found the ones who barricaded the front doors, right?”

They step over the walker as they make their way into the storage locker and what they find is definitely worth the trouble. The room is small but covered with stocked shelves from wall to wall. Beth hadn’t seen this much food in one place since before the outbreak. Even before, when her family was alive and blissfully unaware of the extent of the chaos that the world had descended into, they had always carefully kept track of everything that they went through.

As they scan the room, she sees flour, rice, lentils, soups, pasta… and of course more canned meat, and beans. She thinks that if they are careful, and with some hunting before winter truly sets in, they might just be able to last the season on this stash. By the look of the smiles on everyone’s faces, she is sure that they are thinking the same thing.

Glenn steps forward, beginning to take down the things that they haven’t seen in far too long; canned fruits and vegetables, juice, powdered milk, even bottled water. While he and Father Gabriel sort through their find on the ground, she hears Maggie say something about some crates that she saw in the room they had come from. She watches as her sister passes her and wonders if she should follow but thinks better of it. Maggie could take care of herself and she had more than made it clear that she didn’t think Beth could do much more than stay out of the way.

She is sorting through bags of dried beans near the door, when she hears Maggie drop a crate in the room behind her. Beth turns away from her work, deciding to help her sister carry the crates inside. She is planning on breaking through some of the tension that she has felt between the two of them by making light of Maggie’s uncharacteristic clumsiness but can only open her mouth in surprise at what she sees before her. Maggie is pinned to a wall with only a crate to separate her from the walker that has chosen her as its next meal.

Boy did it have another thing coming. In an instant, Beth has crossed the room and unsheathed her knife. She comes up behind the growling walker and reaches up with one hand, yanking its head back by its stringy hair. Beth grimaces as she feels its scalp give way, beginning to slide off the back of its head, but her hold gives her just enough room to swing up with her right hand and stab it through the skull.

The give of her blade through bone and into brain tissue almost makes her gag, it is a feeling that is difficult to get used to, but she holds it there for good measure. Once it has stopped twitching and she is sure that it’s dead she withdraws, her knife squelching as it parts. Like her sister before her, Beth lets the walker fall at Maggie’s feet. Only after it has folded to the floor in a lump of decayed flesh does she look up to see her sister’s face.

She isn’t surprised to see that Maggie is looking at her as if she is seeing her for the first time. There is equal parts confusion and shock in her eyes and her mouth is hanging open slightly, hands still tightly grasping her crate-shield. Beth is sure to look her older sister in the eyes before she presses her lips together and pulls away. The others come out of the storage locker, no doubt wondering what has been taking the two young woman so long to rejoin them.

She hears Glenn’s chipper voice pipe up behind her, “Hope you haven’t eaten each other alive yet, with they way the two of you have been acting it wouldn’t be surprising. On second thought, never mind that’s a terrible thing to sa- Oh shit…”

Beth turns in time to see the smile melt off his face. He looks from the walker on the ground between them, to the bloody knife in Beth’s hand, to Maggie’s face behind her, and back again.

Father Gabriel takes in the scene before him and clasps his hands together before saying, “lets hope that the others haven’t run into as many of these as we have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate everyone’s kudos, subs, comments all of that good stuff. I also love interacting with TWD fans (which I sorely lack irl) so I will always reply below. Totally happy to rant with you all (she says not desperately at all 😅).
> 
> Next up, we’ll see what Daryl and the others have gotten up to in this town that is actually as small as I describe it. For real guys... 576 people.
> 
> Stay safe out there!  
> -S 🖤
> 
> *Dialogue from TWD S5E4 "Slabtown".


	5. Searching pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Carol force Daryl to think about his feelings and boy is he in a rough place. Also, our group of survivors might have found a place to stay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the screen on my laptop crapped out and I didn’t have my work backed up anywhere (rookie move I know), but finally here is part 2. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

_Every man has a right to live_

_Love is all that we have to give_

_Together we struggle by your will to survive_

_And together we fight just to stay alive_

_Struggling man has got to move_

_Struggling man, no time to lose_

_I'm a struggling man_

_And I've got to move on_

_As the sun lights the day and the moon lights the night_

_Struggling man keeps reaching for the higher heights_

_So we plan for tomorrow as we live for today_

_Like a flower we bloom and then later fade away_

\- Jimmy Cliff, " _Struggling Man"_

~

It felt like they had searched just about the entire god damned town, which hadn’t been too hard since it was barely a blip on their map and found nothing that would help them get away from it. Him and his brother had spent a lot of time drifting from place to place, usually near small back country towns like this one, and this place was reminding him of shit he would rather leave in the past. Irritated, he slams the door of yet another run-down car.

“Nothin in this one either!” He hollers at Rick and the rest.

Judging by the looks on their faces, they’ve had about as much luck as he’s had. Daryl crosses the road to gather with everyone at the corner of the block. He scans the one-storey houses that line the sidewalk as he passes. Most walkers were likely trapped inside houses or wandering in the forest that surrounded the town on all sides. So far they hadn’t had too much trouble with anything in the streets, the few walkers that they had come across being easy for their group to handle. He wasn’t yet sold on the new additions to their group, but he had to admit that Abraham and Rosita knew how to handle themselves.

Perspiration dripping from his hair, Rick wipes at the back of his hand across his forehead. Daryl can tell that the man is trying his best to keep it together, but he looks like he’s hanging on by a thread. The last couple of months have been hard on all of them. In short succession they had been separated, reunited, strung up and just about cannibalised, almost killed by a bunch of crazy cops, and now they were in the middle of nowhere with almost nothing in the way of food or water. For his part, Rick had been holding their group together, but Daryl knew he was cracking. Looking away from his friend, Daryl sees Rosita and Abraham walk out of an open garage with the same worn out looks that everyone was wearing on their faces.

Abraham holds up a red fuel container and says, “found a can a gas, it’s half full, and managed to get a car started. It’s a tiny thing though.”

They meet in the middle of the road and form a circle. So far, in their search, they had found plenty of cars but they were either dead from sitting around for god knew how long or had just about no gas. Looking at the faces around him, Daryl can see that worry has set in.

Rosita shakes a stray piece of hair out of her face and asks, “you sure we haven’t missed anything?” She holds a hand up against her forehead to shield her eyes from the afternoon sun as she scans the block.

Eugene pipes up, “If I’m rememberin correctly, which I can assure that I am, there’s a road just east of us on the outskirts a town that might turn out to be fruitful.”

Rick nods his head and says, “alright, we’ll look there and then make our way back to the post office.”

As they cross the road and head in the direction the scientist has suggested Daryl can’t help but think about how desperate they really are to be following Eugene of all people. They sure had their work cut out for them, so far all they had managed to find was a can of gas, one running car, and a few half empty bottles of water. As he watches Rosita and Carol pick through yet another abandoned car, Rick comes up beside him.

Daryl decides to voice his concerns. “We don’t find something soon, gonna have to come up with a new plan.”

Rick sighs before replying, “If we don’t find something to drive soon, we’ll pick a house to clear and settle into for the night, come up with something in the morning. We’ll find something, enough cars for all of us, a safe place to wait out the winter.” Daryl isn’t so sure who the man is trying to convince.

They come to a road that winds along the edge of town. It has some run down looking shops on one side, and an empty field on the other. The dead field stretches out to their right until it meets with the forest that surrounds them. Daryl can make out the hunched forms of walkers that lumber through the dried grass. There aren’t too many, about four or five by his count, and they are far enough that they shouldn’t be much trouble if it came to a fight.

They walk quietly along the road, trying their best to ignore the distant snarls of the walkers on their side. Rick walks next to him, bringing up the rear of the group, while Carol and Abraham’s people search through broken down cars and siphon gas. Daryl watches the group as Michonne leads with Carl right next to her. Since they had set off this morning, the boy had never been far from her, always talking her ear off and following her lead. It was a sweet sight, Lord only knew the kid was in dire need of some healthy role models.

As they walk, both men spot a sad looking truck stopped in a ditch at the side of the road. With its flat tire and smashed windows, it won’t do them much good, but they decide to search through it anyway. Rick walks to the passenger side and reaches through the window to open the handle. Daryl does the same and leans into the cab of the truck while they pick around shards of glass. He opens the centre console and jumps out of the truck.

“Check out what I found.” Daryl says, smiling while holding up his catch.

Rick walks around the front of the truck and smirks when he sees the carton of cigarettes in his friend’s hand.

Daryl flips it open and tilts it so Rick can see inside, “half full too.” He tucks the box inside his vest pocket and asks, “you find anything?”

Rick grins and says, “don’t know if its as good as a pack of smokes, but everything counts…” Rick reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small pistol. “Its got a full chamber too.”

Daryl shrugs and jokes, “almost as good as a pack a smokes.”

They walk at the back of the group in companionable silence for awhile before Rick ruins it. “So… how have you been holdin up?”

Daryl swings his head in his directions and asks, “whaddya mean?”

Rick stares at him, calling him on his bluff really, before Daryl looks away. He doesn’t stop there though. “Just that things got pretty rough in Atlanta. I know you almost lost something back there… never seen you like that before.”

Daryl doesn’t respond at first. He keeps his face angled away from Rick; he doesn't want him to see the thoughts that are probably written all over his face. Usually so good at hiding himself, he knows that Rick was one of the few people left alive that actually saw him.

The truth was he _had_ lost something. He tried not to think about it, but he could see the way that Beth had changed. Not a bad change really… she could never be bad, not in his eyes at least, but she was different. When he thought about the way she had been, the only thing that Daryl could compare her to was the sun. She had always been sunny, singing or telling stories, subtly reminding everyone what life had been like before the world turned to shit. What life could still be like.

The rest might not have recognize the strength that takes, her strength, hell neither had he at first, not until they had been separated from everyone. Not until after the prison fell, because he had stopped searching for that damn governor, he had gone back to the place he had been in back at the quarry. Turned into the same good for nothing asshole. They were just surviving until she had knocked some sense into him with her crazy mission to have a drink and their moonshine-soaked stories. She had shown him a twinkling light at the end of the tunnel and then it was snuffed out. He had let her get away, failed her like he had failed everyone else, Sophia, Merle, Hershel, everyone at the prison… the list was endless in his mind, and her of course he couldn’t forget that he had failed her too.

How could he when the nightmares that had plagued him since losing her had only gotten worse when he had found her. When he didn’t know if she would pull through in that hospital he had sat at her bedside and growled at everyone and anyone who cam near. It had gotten to a point where even the doctors knew to be wary as they worked under his watchful gaze. Truth be told, he hadn’t slept much more than a few hours here and there since they had left Atlanta. If he really thought about it, he hadn’t had a full nights sleep since the funeral home of all places with its clean sheets and pig's feet.

Rick was right and that bothered him. When they had found her again with Carol, he had nearly fallen over in relief, but that didn’t mean he was stupid enough to think that things could go back to the way they had been; and he had been right. He saw the change in her when she thought no one was looking. Unlike him she had always liked to be right in the middle of everyone. She had always been talking to the new additions at the prison, making sure everyone had what they needed, lifting people's spirits, lighting up every room she walked in. Now she trailed along the edge of their group, and while he saw the way she had been trying to hide the pain she was in, he also saw that it was more than just her side that bothered her.

It was usually when he left the group to hunt in the trees that he was able to think of her in peace. He knew that the time she had spent on her own had affected her, having to fight and survive on her own. She was stronger for it, and that was a good thing, but where he had once seen light in her eyes, he now saw clouds. It didn’t escape Daryl that he never should have been thinking about her like that in the first place. What the hell did he know anyway, the way things had been. How had they been exactly?

_Wake up, little brother*_

There it was again, that voice that had haunted him since he had lost sight of that car. He had tried to keep running, even after she was long gone he kept chasing her. He couldn’t stop until the sun rose the next morning and his lungs burned so bad they made him reconsider ever touching a smoke again. It was when he was sitting there on the pavement, feeling lower than he had ever felt in his miserable, that he wished the ground would swallow him up. It would have done him the favour of taking him where he belonged and spared him the trouble of doing it himself. No such luck though.

Instead he had found Merle. And his brother had returned with a vengeance. He thought he had left it behind, burned it all down with her, but it had come back. With his brother’s voice and Joe and his group of claimers that followed, Daryl had found himself in the same place he had always been, settling back into old ways. He welcomed it too, the person he had been, because it meant that he didn’t have to remember the person he had become. A person she had seen in him, a person Rick had seen in him, a person who had people who mattered and who mattered to people.

So he went with them, it was easy to pick up his bow and he follow Joe like he had followed Merle. While he walked with Joe talking in one ear, he had his brother whispering in the other, tormenting him about his complete and utter fuck up.

_You’re gonna die out here little brother and for what?_

_Girl, I lost a girl.*_

Who did he think he was letting his guard down like that? Getting distracted by her and her kindness, her openness, the truths they had shared outside that shack. It all seemed like a dream. His brother had come to wake him up, show him what he really deserved, show him who he really was, and Joe had sealed the deal. Until they had led him straight to Rick. He was the man they had been tracking and Daryl had gone along with it.

It felt like a rug had been torn from under his feet when he had seen his friend in the woods that night. A mixture of relief and dread swirling through him. Relief, but mostly dread. He dreaded what they might do, what they did, he dreaded that Rick might see him with this group of men (if you could call them that) and see him clearly for the first time. That Rick would see how well he fit with them and think twice about having thought that he could ever be worth something. Instead Rick had called him brother, told him that it wasn’t his fault, but it wasn’t it? Sometimes he wondered if these people weren’t better off without him.

He looks up from the ground to see Michonne and Carl waving their hands and pointing to a sign up ahead. Squinting, Daryl can see that it reads _Rosman Car Care_. A slew of abandoned vehicles fill the parking lot next to the sign, with a row of closed garage doors standing next to it.

Daryl smirks and looks at Rick, “guess you were right, gotta be somethin we can ride in here.”

Rick responds by projecting his voice out to the rest of the group. “Let’s start with the ones out here, and then see if we can crack those doors open.”

Eugene and Carl keep watch while the others branch out. Rick and Michonne search through the vehicles in the back, while Carol pops the trunk of a Corolla open, producing a set of jumper cables and an empty looking fuel can. Rosita checks gas gauges and siphons what gas is left from cars that wont start. They start to make a pile as they go, collecting anything that might be useful. Crouching under the wheel of truck with a nearly full tank, Daryl pulls out his knife and cuts through the wires under the dash. He smiles in satisfaction when he hears the engine roar to life.

Climbing out of the cab, he says, “this one’ll be good to go once the battery charges up. We’ll leave ‘er runnin fer now…” Daryl stops speaking when he sees the others staring at him. He clears his throat before continuing. “Gonna go check the garage.” Too many smiling faces around here for his liking.

When he gets there, he sees that Abraham has already begun prying open doors. After peering beneath one, Daryl slides his crossbow through before crawling underneath the opening that Abraham has made. He pulls on the chain next to the door to make a bigger opening and roles a tool cabinet over to hold the gap open. As they repeat the process, they collect tools as they go and manage to start up a beat-up Impala. Daryl thinks that they make a good team, if only because they work in silence. He had to admit, the redhead was growing on him.

The last garage is different though. They find that the door is already held open and while Abraham goes inside to clear the area Daryl notices some pretty fresh-looking boot prints and tire marks in the mud near by the entrance. As he bends down to get a closer look, he hears Abraham shout.

“You should probably come see this! Might wanna get Rick too.” Daryl turns to get Rick’s attention, but sees that he has heard Abraham’s call and is already making his way over to him from their growing pile of supplies.

Once both men duck under the open door of the garage, Abraham motions them through a door on their right that leads past a tight hallway to a small office space. There is a man slouched next to an open cabinet in the corner of the room with a bullet hole smack dab in the middle of his forehead. Judging from the dried blood that is caked around the wound, it can’t be real fresh. Daryl takes a step closer to check the body, holding his fingers against the man’s neck and ignoring the look he gets from Abraham when he touches the man’s arm. 

“Body’s cold, pretty stiff too… coulda happened a few hours ago, or even yesterday.” He looks at Rick before continuing, “Im guessin’ it happened sooner rather than later though, saw a few fresh tracks outside the garage.”

He doesn’t miss the appraising look that Abraham shoots him before saying, “the guy musta fought pretty hard to keep whoever it was outta that cabinet.”

“Didn’t fight hard enough.” Daryl mumbles.

Rick looks between the cabinet and the body on the floor before speaking. “Better tell the others, then. Rosita managed to get another car in working order outside, don’t think we wanna be around if anyone comes back.”

Once they have met up outside, everyone decides to pack up what they have found and head back to their meeting place in town. Abraham and Rosita head off to get the car that they found in town while the rest, pack their gear into the others. As Daryl is about to haul himself up into the truck, he spots a building beside them that they missed on the way in. He looks over at Carol, who has already parked herself in the passenger seat, and motions to the building.

“Switch seats. I’m gonna check in there before we leave.” Carol looks in the direction that he is pointing and then back at him. She looks confused, like she might question him, so he jumps to the ground before she can.

He hears her jump out of the truck and follow him instead. Of course she would, Daryl tries to think of a time when the woman actually let him go off on his own without a fight and can’t. Despite the way he acts, he really doesn’t mind it. They pass Michonne on their way out of the lot, she is about to get into the driver’s side of the Impala that Rick and Carl are already sat in, but Carol tells her to drive the truck instead, that her and Daryl will meet everyone back in town.

By the time she is done, Daryl is already down the road. Running to catch up to him, Carol brushes past him and jogs backwards to face him, her pack bouncing on her back behind her. “Didn’t think you could leave me behind did ya?” She asks.

Daryl shakes his head at her and tries not to smile, he fails. “Wouldn’t dream of it, partner.”

After tapping their knuckles on the door and walking through the store to make sure that it’s clear. Daryl makes his way to a particular section and Carol laughs when she sees where he has led them. She looks over her shoulder at him and raises a brow. “You trynna impress a certain farm girl perhaps?”

“Shuddup.” He replies. Trying to hide his embarrassment, he turns his back to her and finds what he is looking for. He is leafing through seed packets and thinking about all of the stories the girl had told him about when they were on their own.

She had always looked the happiest talking about her time in their family garden. Where she had dug through the dirt as a toddler while her mother worked. And then when she was a little older, where she had learned by her mother's side. And then, a little later and a little less happy, where she had worked on her own. He knows that it is wishful thinking, but maybe they would find a safe place where she could start a new garden. Somewhere she could plant seeds and watch them grow.

Carol joins him, picking through the packets of fruits and vegetables and tosses them into her bag. She holds it open for him to do the same and when he puts his collection of envelopes into her bag he sees that she has added gardening tools to their pile. Some gloves, a couple of spades, and a pair of shears. He looks up at her face to find that she is already looking at him. He opens his mouth to say what? Thank you? When she beats him to it.

“I think she saved my life.” There is an urgency in her voice that is louder than it needs to be in the space between them. Her voice is quieter when she speaks next. “… she saved your life too right?”** He looks away, wanting to look anywhere but her face, wanting to hide.

She continues and her next words surprise him. “We’re not dead.” He squints down at her skeptically and sees that there are tears welling in her eyes. “That’s what you said.”

She steps closer to him when he tries to look away and repeats herself, as if to make sure that she gets the message across, to make sure that he understands what she is saying. She looks at him with eyes that have somehow always known him and he can’t look away. “You’re not dead. I know you. We’re different. I can’t let myself – But you? I know you. You have to let yourself feel it. You’ll get there.” She reaches up with her hand, gently brushing the hair off his forehead, and cradles his head before planting a kiss in the space she has cleared. 

_You will._ Her last words echo in his mind as he watches her walk away.

* * *

When they get back to town from the greenhouse, they find the group talking in a plaza outside of the post office. Their scavenged cars all lined up in a row next to them. Daryl sees that the car Abraham and Rosita found is a tiny red Prius of all things. He pitied the person who ended up stuck with that thing. When he takes his place in the circle next to Carol, he finds his eyes automatically scanning for a certain face. There is blood on her already filthy clothing, but she looks otherwise untouched. He smiles, thinking about the damage that she must have done while they were gone.

Rick must have already told them about the body that they found at the auto shop because Glenn steps forward with an equally concerning piece of information. “The supplies we found was locked up from the outside, had to break through a chain to get to it.”

This is greeted with grim looks from the rest and Rick looks to Daryl, nodding his head as if to say that their suspicions have been confirmed. “We should head out, don’t wanna be around if anyone comes back to see that we’ve taken their supplies”

Before anyone can ask where exactly they’re headed, Tara holds up some papers. “I found these brochures in the store. There was a stand advertising things to do in the area, local tourist attractions, camping spots... I picked up a few I thought we could use.” She sorts through the stack and lists, “Albert's Lodge, Mountain Light Sanctuary, Catawba Falls Lodge…”

Eugene peers over her shoulder from his spot next to her and asks, “Farmhouse on the Cane? That looks ni-”

“NO!” Eugene’s mouth snaps shut and his face turns a bright shade of red at everyone’s reaction.

Glenn rubs his neck, grimacing as he explains, “we’ll pass on the farmhouses.” Maggie snags the offending brochure from Tara’s hand and tosses it over her shoulder for good measure.

Michonne breaks the awkward silence that settles in by clapping her hands together and saying, “alright, I don’t know where all of you are planning to ride but I call the truck.”

A few words and a smile from her are all it takes for people to get moving. Instead of getting to work and loading up their supplies like everyone else is doing, Daryl walks up to Michonne who is already opening the door to the truck. _His truck_ , he thinks. She sees the look on his face but just smiles that big old grin of hers. She leans against the open door and says, “look Robin Hood, if you wanted it you should've called it. Everyone knows that you can’t argue with dibs.”

“ _Did_ ya call it?” Daryl asks.

“Uhhh _yeah_ , you heard me didn’t you Rick?”

He is loading the bed of the truck with crates, smiling, and shaking his head in reply. “I think I’m gonna have to stay outta this one.”

Michonne shrugs, “ya snooze ya lose.”

Daryl grumbles something about payback being a bitch and we'll see where you get your next meal from, while he watches her take a seat behind the wheel.

Rick walks up next to him, still shaking his head and laughing under his breath. He holds up the map and says, “most of the places Tara found are near Mount Mitchell, we’ll drive up and meet by the this turn off. Decide which to stop at first.”

“Yea yea, I get it. Thought you were my friend, man.” Daryl feigns hurt.

Rick chuckles. “What can I say? I’ve learned not to argue with katana wieldin women.”

Daryl just shakes his and turns, the small smile on his face evaporates when he gets a look at what is behind him. Everyone has taken their seats inside every single car. Rosita, Abraham, and Eugene have jumped up into the bed of his stolen truck. Tyrese, Bob, Sasha, and Tara are in the Camry. Glenn, Maggie, Gabriel, and a Judith cradling Beth are seated in the Impala. She is decent enough to flash him a tight smile as he passes.

His walk further down the row of cars only confirms his suspicion. The damn Prius is empty. _Traitors all of them_ , he thinks to himself. Carol bumps into his shoulder on her way to the passenger side of the car in front of him.

“C’mon, Pookie.” She is barely able to hold in her laughter when she gets a good look at his face.

“Good _Lord_.” Daryl rubs at his eyes before he opens the door and sits behind the wheel. This was going to be a long drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! This one was a bit rough honestly, Daryl's head is a complicated place. 
> 
> I'm working real hard to get ahead in this story, so hopefully I don't run into anymore tech issues. 
> 
> Edit: forgot to mention that I have a busy month of midterms ahead so the next chapter wont be up until early March. 
> 
> Stay safe out there!  
> -S 🖤
> 
> *TWD Season 2 Episode 5 “Chupacabra”  
> **TWD Season 5 Episode 10 "Them"
> 
> Story Playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3UDB1SoUB5dWUaSAOPssvC?si=71e5230815604ee5


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